You Can’t Plan Your Life

Hi humans!

Happy Sunday night. I had the day off from work (much needed) so I went to church with Jarrett, worked legs, then did tons of grocery shopping and errands that had been neglected due to working so much for the past week.

Tomorrow I have work, two interviews, and a nighttime boudoir shoot. (Oooh, scandalous.) I’ll get into that later–for all those of you asking about why I’m suddenly modeling and are scared for my mental and phsyical health.

The thing I want to talk about today is something that I’ve learned this past summer. I learned that you really can’t plan your life. 

I don’t mean just to wing everything and to never take time to set goals and such…allow me to explain.

I spent my entire life since I was about five years old thinking that I want to be a news anchor when I “grow up.” I’ve focused my entire college career on broadcast journalism, and when I graduate in December it will be with a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism. I’ve set my sights, heart, and soul on that dream and never even considered a different career path.

This summer I worked as a lifeguard, a sales agent, a receptionist, a social media manager, a brand ambassador, a freelance writer/blogger, and I’ve been doing Youtube and (now) modeling on the side. I’ve hopped around jobs more this summer than ever before in my life because I’ve been searching for the thing that I really am good at and enjoy. Why? Because I don’t want to be a news anchor anymore.

The idea of it sounded great, it looked fun, and I’ve been told I have the “face for television.” However, the months prior to summer I was able to dip my toes in the water of the broadcast journalism world, and I learned that I really do not want that for my life. At all.

At the beginning of the summer when I came to this realization it scared the crap out of me. I convinced myself that I would continue on the broadcast path anyway simply to justify my degree, my life plan, and to make those around me happy. That gave me extreme anxiety.

So, after the past 3 months of “job-hopping” (and annoying Jarrett and my parents because to them it looks like I just can’t commit) I have realized that you really can’t plan your life.

I hated lifeguarding. Oh my gosh, I hated it. I did it for two summers and I’m so done with it.

I hated being a sales agent. I morally could not justify selling something (timeshares, in this case) to people by being sneaky and not giving them all of the information. My boss LITERALLY got mad at me one day for being honest to a couple instead of tiptoeing around the truth to make a sale. Morally, sales is not for me.

I’m currently still in the role of receptionist/social media manager and that’s fine for now. I’m also doing brand marketing/ambassador jobs on the side (last week I worked as a Baskin Robbins model and it was basically awesome because free ice cream.)

I still write freelance for various publications, and I obviously still make videos on Youtube. Those are just little side income things that I do because I like to.

Now, you may have noticed if you follow me on Instagram or are friends with me on Facebook that I’ve been doing some modeling. A lot of you are concerned that this is going to affect my recovery negatively, and I totally understand that concern! Jarrett told me the same thing. However, it’s really not. Quite the opposite, actually. I’m happy to inform you all that I’m V-E-R-Y close to the magical three digit number AKA 100 pounds. The goal is to get there by my birthday, and I am going to do it!

The modeling is paid and I’m doing it to earn and save money. I’m not going to do it forever, or probably much longer. I do enjoy it and like seeing the results of the shoots I do. It’s also great to have shots for my portfolio and to work on building my brand which I really want to start doing more.

Okay…the point of all that? The point is that this summer taught me that no, I don’t want to be a news anchor…but I really like working with social media. I like doing freelance work. I like a schedule that’s constantly changing and not mundane. I don’t like working for “the man.” I like working for myself, but also getting to work for a different company every week by being a brand ambassador for a marketing company. I like modeling and I like making weird videos on Youtube and talking to you guys. I love checking my email in the morning and responding to your recovery or life related questions.

I may not have figured out what my “career” will be, but right now I’m doing a lot of different things that I consider to be fun and rewarding. I may be the busiest person I know, but I really don’t like routine.

It’s okay that I decided that I don’t want to be a news anchor, after all. No one is forcing me to do it. My degree will open doors for me and I will find that perfect fit. For now, I’m enjoying being a receptionist/social media manager/freelancer/ambassador/ice cream princess. I like hats, so I will wear them all. ALL OF THE HATS. GIVE ME THEM.

The moral of this word vomit is to not get so fixated on something in your life that it starts to make you sick. Things don’t always (read: usually don’t) go the way that you see them in your pretty little head. And that’s okay. You just gotta roll with the punches and react accordingly. Maybe you don’t know what to do with your life and that scares you, but maybe you should let it excite you because the opportunities are literally endless. Maybe I’ve just rambled a lot and made little to no sense. Either way, I’m going to go eat a pint of ice cream.

Talk to me:
What’s your major/degree in?

Do you think I am wearing an annoying number of hats?

Choose: Snickerdoodle or Cookies ‘n Creme? (I can’t decide on ice cream. Help.)

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6 thoughts on “You Can’t Plan Your Life

  1. its the perfect time for you to jump around and see what you enjoy so you enter the right field. its not so easy once you get older. i could probably switch fields but would have to take a huge pay cut & thats not really possible when you have a mortgage to pay, lots of bills, etc. anyway, not all sales jobs are shady but selling timeshares def. is 😉

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  2. *i would choose cookies and cream*
    This is a fabulous post! One of your more serious “grown-up” topics, and I couldnt agree more with everything you said. I am the same way- I have several jobs, and it’s because I love the open schedule and working mainly for myself doing what I love. Because when you do what you love and make money doing it- you never work a day in your life! I am An artist, I spent 3 yrs in art college, and despite the scholarship I had under me, I left there a year early to finish my degree in psychology, and hoped to be an art therapist. BUT out of college I became a therapeutic support staff doing behavior modification with autistic children for 2 years, while still being a freelance portrait artist (which I’ve done since high school). And then I started working as a gym attendant and teaching yoga classes there, which is how I met my boyfriend now of 2.5yrs (who was the owner of the gym) and we moved away to Nashville together after his gym closed. And because of him, after a year of being in Nashville, we now work at the same center – him doing fitness with mental health persons and me doing therapeutic arts and crafts with them!! So in a nutshell, LIFE WILL MaKE COMPLETE CIRCLE AND ULTIMATELY BRING YOU TO WHERE YOU BELONG!!! Don’t ever stop chasing your passions and the things that bring you joy!! Xo

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      1. Yes- sometimes it doesn’t matter what you major in, as long as you follow your heart, your desires will become a reality and life will take you there! Enjoy the ride and enjoy exploring your possibilities while your young!! As my dad would always say, “Now’s the time to do it”

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  3. This is awesome because I literally just wrote my own version of this post and put it up yesterday. I have always felt as if one sort of becomes ‘married’ to whatever major they decide to pursue, even though in reality I know that that is far from the truth. It is very interesting to me how you have lost your interest in your initial goals of becoming a broadcast journalist, and that now you are experiencing life through a variety of different outlets career wise.
    I too struggle with not fully understanding what it is I want to do, however I have come to accept that that is part of the journey, and often times unless I try it, I will never know. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities and being honest Annie <3.

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  4. My degree was in Maths and I am still not sure what I want to do now other than never go near numbers again in my life! I also intend to keep quite a few hats on at the moment and just see how things go.

    I have no idea what Snickerdoodle is but it sounds interesting!

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