I’ve been receiving loads of emails, comments, messages, yada yada yada, etc. A lot of you are coming to me for help, specifically with recovery. I get a lot of emails with lots of numbers and life stories and “HELP ME!”s. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but it’s quite overwhelming and I am not a doctor nor am I a therapist. I certainly will give you my best advice and wish you well, but I don’t have the golden ticket. I’M SORRY!
(Also, sorry I’m behind on emails. Life is busy right meow, which you know if you read my lil’ blog.)
Along with those emails I get A LOT of questions about me personally. A lot of you are curious about my recovery, weight, life, etc. and I don’t blame you! It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned numbers, progress, and those sorts of things. This post will serve as a sort of “frequently asked questions” so that you can get your answers. You’re welcome. 🙂
Question #1: Are you still eating 3500 calories??
Answer: I don’t know–probably not. For a while I was SO RIGID with my meal plan. This was necessary given the state that my body was in–I had to know that I was getting at least 3000, preferably 3500 calories every day. For about three months I used My Fitness Pal to track my intake and make sure I was hitting my goal every. single. day.
For about the past month, I have still been planning my day of food the day before, but usually the next day I crave something different, don’t want to measure my food, and stuff like that so I end up not eating exactly what I had planned. I don’t track my food after that because honestly I’m so annoyed with tracking food and I just like to EAT. For that reason, I’m not 5000% sure that I’m eating exactly 3500 calories every day but 1) that’s okay because I’m eating intuitively and I’m eating enough 2) I’m not losing weight 3) I eat enough to fuel my activity 4) I’m happy with it and I don’t have to spend hours planning food. I’d venture to guess that I eat anywhere from 2800-3500 every day–still, more than 99% of people get to maintain on. (Minnie Maud, people, Minnie Maud.)
Question #2: So are you weight restored then?
Answer: I don’t know. (These are really helpful answers, yeah?) But seriously, I don’t. I don’t weigh myself, and I don’t ask to know the number at my appointments. My doctor/nutritionist just tells me “you made progress” or “you maintained” (or “you lost weight” which I have yet to hear.) I like it like this. I don’t like obsessing over a number. Last I was aware, I weighed 93 pounds. My lowest weight was around 72 or 73 pounds, meaning I had gained 20 pounds. (Keep in mind, this was back in the beginning of March. I’m almost 1000% positive I’ve gained weight since then.)
Is 93 pounds healthy for someone who is about 5’6? By BMI standards–no. However, based on my pre-ED body, genetics, family, etc…it’s a possibility that it is. I developed my ED after I was completely done with puberty and I weighed about 100 pounds. 100 pounds and 5’6 is about a BMI of 16, which is technically very underweight. However, I had NO issues with food whatsoever at this point in my life and ate whatever the heck I wanted when I wanted.
So, long story short I would guess that I’m somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 pounds at the moment and I feel great. I definitely look at myself and wish I had more curves but that’s something I’ve always dealt with. That’s something everyone in my family deals with. So it’s fine.
Am I weight restored? Maybe. Possibly. But I’m not going to set that in stone because I’m still technically trying to gain weight especially as I am trying to build muscle by lifting. I do know that I have restored a large amount of weight and that I feel a lot better physically even if it is hard mentally.
Question #3: Why don’t you vlog anymore?
I originally started vlogging as an assignment for one of my journalism classes. I ended up really enjoying it, so I continued. However, lately I’ve been so ridiculously busy that it’s not realistic for me to be vlogging and editing every single day. I can barely find time to shower, let along vlog my entire day. Once school ends I will have a bit more time and you can expect more vlogs. 🙂
Question #4: “You still look underweight.” “You look so fragile.” “You look so thin, hun.”
Yes. Yes. Thanks. I know. If you’re new here, I recently gained a lot of weight in a short period of time and I’m PROUD of myself for it. It kind of suck when someone tells you that you look ill when you literally are getting healthy. Like, I’m sorry I will never really have any sort of fluff or curve to my body. It’s just how I’m built–ED aside. Just be polite please.
Question #5: Are you and Jarrett still together?
Yes! I don’t know why I keep getting this question. I usually always mention him in my posts. Maybe you just skipped over those parts, but yes! We’re still together. We don’t see as much of each other at the moment but we’re still very much togetha. And in love. And all that good stuff.
Those are all of the questions I’m going to address today! I had a list of like 15 but I just don’t feel like explaining myself any more at the moment. 🙂 I would rather do a Q&A video addressing all of these things, so leave your questions/comments below if you have any and I will 100% answer them. 🙂