i’m a mouse and an elephant.

Helloooo. I’m in quite a weird mood.

This morning I woke up, ate breakfast, and then me and Jarrett went to the gym to do back. We were there for like 25 minutes tops–yay for no cardio! {Did I mention I’m allowed to lift again?! Ya. So happy. Much muscles. Such sore.}

A n y w a y ,

while I was at the gym I was having an “I feel extremely fat” day. That feeling continued the rest of the day. I went to a meeting, ran errands, walked the dogs, did two essays, ate a lot, and went to dance. It wasn’t until I went to dance that the “fat feeling” went away. In fact, it morphed into the polar opposite.

I felt SO small. I watched myself in the studio mirror and saw my body next to everyone else’s. I am so much smaller than everyone. I’m the tallest one and I’m about half the size of everyone. I also realized how freaking long my legs are. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wish I had longer legs and I need to stop wishing that because if they were any longer I would be so off balanced I wouldn’t be able to walk. I’m like a freaking gazelle. Or a fawn. Moving on.

I don’t realize how small I am until I see myself next to other girls. I mean, it has always been this way but it just all hit me tonight. I suppose it was good, because when I was 20 pounds less than I am now I looked at myself next to others and thought I was the same size as them, if not bigger. Whoa, no. I’m still so much smaller and I cannot imagine how deathly I looked before.

I WANTED MORE BODY TO BE SASSY WITH! Seriously though. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting how weird perception is. All day I felt huge and then I suddenly felt like a waif. I’m still eating my minimums or more every day but I’m just not gaining weight at the moment. I’m not worrying too much about it and I’m trying to just live life. It’s working.

So I’m home from dance and I just ate more and showered, and now I need to finish up a project for the company I write for. Freelance writing is pretty time consuming! So much for SPRANG BREAAAAK.

Short post-but I just wanted to share with you that your perception is not always reality. Take a step back and look at things with a rational and clear mind–your thoughts & opinions may change.


p.s. This makes me sad. I honestly think this is going to add to the alcohol-related deaths via car accidents. Come on, Taco Bell. You’re my childhood.

p.p.s… have you watched this yet? Do it. 🙂


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