back at it

The Spring semester began today!

I’m SO excited about this: first of all, I love school. Second, I love having things to occupy me and make my mind think about things other than my current predicament. Third, I am so excited to be in broadcast and production classes that I could scream. I’M FINALLY DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!

It’s crazy that this could be the last first-day-of-school I will ever have. I haven’t decided if I’m going to graduate in the spring or push it off a bit until fall, but I’m not worried about that yet. We shall see. I’m already way ahead of the game to be honest.

I had my TV and broadcast 3 hour lab today which was great. Tomorrow I have a communications class and then my other journalism lab which is going to be so much fun. Thursday I have another 3 hour class, and Friday is my big 4 hour communications class. Woop. First time having a Friday class in SO long! But it only lasts until the end of February so yay.

Anyway, I’ve been doing good with food despite my horrible body image for the past week but I don’t care at the moment. I have a good mindset today and I know that can change with the blink of an eye but at the moment I am fine. I have my weekly weigh-in tomorrow where I will determine whether I keep eating the same amount or increase. I know I have gained, so that means I will continue on with this amount. However I have been having a lot of heart pain and I want to bring that up to my doctor. I think I have to have an EKG done, as well. I HATE THOSE. They’re cold and it’s awkward.

I’m currently brainstorming because I am writing for my school newspaper this week and I can’t think of an opinion piece to write on. I know it would be easy to do something eating disorder related, but I just responded to about 15 emails on the topic and honestly want to just forget that I know anything about them. Haha, what a thought.

Also, I’m wearing orange jeans today. Just thought I should share. I say this because these jeans literally fell off of me just over a week ago and now I am wearing them. The proof is in the pudding pants.

My treatment team always tells me “maybe you should take a semester off school to really focus on recovery, it would be easier to not have the pressure and stress of that going on as well.” Well, for me it’s the opposite. I find it easier to eat and keep my mind rational when I’m in school because it gives me something real to focus on, it occupies me, and it reminds me what I’m recovering for. I want a career in journalism and I have to recover to be able to have that. I don’t know–I think my good mood today is highly correlated with the fact I had class today. It’s hard to think about how bloated you are when you’re amongst good people and a fun atmosphere.

I think I just came up with a topic for my piece! I have to go start it before I lose brain juice.

{a.m.}

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2 thoughts on “back at it

  1. I am the exact same way! Today was my first day back at school as well and while I was not excited for the actual school part (bleh), it was SO nice to get back into my routine and be able to keep my mind off of food!!

    Liked by 1 person

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