Happy Saturday humans! For the first time in as long as I can remember I don’t have anything I NEED to do today besides laundry, groceries (ensures, yay) and EATING. It’s strange. It’s very strange for me to not have 6 billion things I “have” to do on any given day. Relaxation is definitely a huge obstacle and challenge in my recovery.
I did go buy craft supplies and begin painting last night! I’m going to do that today, as well. I forgot how much I like painting. And crafting. And the satisfaction of saying, “yeah, I made that.”
Anyway, this morning called for WAFFLES!
Thank goodness for our new waffle maker. For boyfriend, I made Kodiak Cake waffles with chocolate chips. They are really low calorie so I knew I wouldn’t be able to just eat that, SO I took the Kodiak Cake base, added 2 eggs, sugar, a scoop of cake batter protein, and milk to my batter. I topped it with 2 T butter and doused it all in syrup and whipped cream. Much more after the photo-op.
It made like 1 1/5 waffles. Haha, that batter was THICK. However, I was able to trick myself and cram 700 calories into this meal just by all the additives. I’m getting really good at just making my food more dense without adding volume. I’m full, but my tummy thanks me for not having to eat 7 waffles.
And continuing on with my lovely eats, last night I had planned on having an ensure, a Quest bar and 4 T of peanut butter for my night snack…I realized I could have a pint of ice cream for the same calories and decided on that instead.
I chose the half baked froyo. When I went shopping I didn’t realize I had grabbed the froyo kind and not the normal kind…and don’t make that mistake. This didn’t really taste like half baked. It was TOO sweet–even for one serving, let alone four. The fact that it’s froyo cuts down the fat and ramps up the sugar, which is like the opposite of what I should be going for. This particular pint was full of cookie dough and I even had a full-sized brownie in there…which was also way too sweet. Basically I found myself dodging the mix-ins in search of a normal vanilla ice cream bite and failing. BUT I ate it all, nonethless.
It WAS pretty, though.
Anyway, it took me FOREVER to fall asleep last night and I’m guessing it was due to the sugar and my tummy-ache. And the intense night sweats despite the high-speed fan and window open half way.
I’ve had 3 pints in 3 days and I need to slow it down with the ice cream. My nutritionist told me it was good to do every day, but today I have more dense food planned so that I only have to have one disgusting ensure for night snack.
Actually, I have a fear food planned for tonight. LITTLE CAESAR’S PIZZA AND RANCH. Yep. I’m doing it. It’s probably been two years since I have had a couple pieces of pizza. It’s kind of a trigger food for me…the only experience I remember having pizza since my ED was a binge. Other than that I’ve had bits and pieces but have been too scared to just eat a couple pieces with ranch and enjoy myself–which is what I hope will happen tonight! Man, all this dairy better make my bones titanium.
I used to come home from soccer practice and demolish half a pizza and crazy bread. I miss those days.
I know it’s only been 6 days, but last night I may have taken a glimpse at my butt in the mirror and yeah, it’s growing.
Yesterday I stepped out of my car and felt a little more jiggle than usual (okay, there usually was zero jiggle) but I didn’t think it would be visible after not even a week! I was excited to see that growth, actually. I can’t wait to get my butt back. Holy crap, I can’t wait.
Well now that I’ve made you hungry with my waffle and ice cream porn (I just inspired myself to have waffles and ice cream sometime soon) go eat some food. Breakfast foods are DA BEST.